Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Warning: A completely useless, grammatically challenged, irrelevant story with run-on sentences and a picture of a magnet on our refrigerator that might offend you and if it does I'm sorry, about a homemade, frozen burrito I made. OK,I didn't really make the frozen burrito. But what's important here is that I tried to make it look homemade. It has taken two years for my husband and I to clean up the mess from that stupid cake I made with the homemade caramel that boiled over into every possible crevice of our oven. I'm not joking people. We're still recovering, and so is the oven. Things haven't improved much in the past two years. I still can't cook well,and can trash the entire kitchen in just minutes making the simplest of meals. Like cereal.And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But I have gotten better at making things at least look like I made them myself. Take this humble, frozen burrito I made. Yes, I said make, because in my world, heating up a frozen burrito and putting it on a plate is considered homemade. Seriously, how hard can this be? It's a freakin' frozen burrito, for God's sake?! Apparently for me, it is very difficult. Looks like even getting it on a plate is going to be a challenge for me. A simple task, you might smugly think to yourself? Well its not as easy as it looks! Making a frozen burrito is hard work. I'm exhausted. I needed to sit down and touch up my lipstick. Oh snap! I left it upstairs. I can't waste any precious energy going up and down stairs if I'm to get this burrito done. I'll ask Tim to get it. Poor Tim. At first he brings me what he thinks is lipstick. Hey! That's not lipstick, damn-it! It's eyeshadow. Seriously Tim. How hard can this be? You're an engineer, for God's sake! A rocket surgeon! After thirteen blissful years of marriage you should know what lipstick is. Does this look like lipstick?! No! It's eyeshadow, for pete's sake. I know you're hungry, but this burrito is never going to be done until my lipstick is on. Everything was going just fine, until I dumped my diet Coke on the counter. Great. Looks like the diet soda is headed straight for the pile of condiments I have. Not the condiments! The secret to making a store bought frozen burrito look homemade is disguising it with lots of condiments, and hiding the wrapper, of course. Notice how I snipped the cilantro myself! Great. Now Princess is hungry. Fortunately for her, there is plenty to eat on the floor. Oh! Refrigerator magnet alert! How about that classy magnet? A former "special friend" was the inspiration behind that one. I love Ann Tainter! Finally, the "store bought but looks homemade burrito" is ready.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Warning: Totally irrelevant, needlessly dramatic and stupid story ahead:
A few weeks ago, I decided to try and do something other than run so I decided to surprise my long suffering husband and bake him a cake. and NOOOOO, not from a cake mix either. bad idea.
From looking at the picture in the glossy magazine, it seemed easy enough. I was going to create was supposed to be a scrumptious Apple Caramel Cake. Just three basic steps: make caramel,( an impossible and horrific ordeal) slice apples and place in caramel, then pour cake batter over everything and bake to perfection. This did not happen.
If you've ever made caramel, you know why most people buy it. It's a major pain in the ass. The sugar and corn syrup didn't melt together. They congealed. The cream I added sizzled and boiled over the sides of the skillet, and what did remain in the pan scorched to the bottom along with the sugar. Instead of the golden brown confection promised in the stupid magazine, I ended up with a bug sticky, lumpy glob, which I proceeded to press in the bottom of the cake pan.
Next came the apples. This part I got right. Then again, how hard can peeling apples be?
The cake batter was another story. As an easily distracted and sometimes stupid woman, I forgot that I already had added the eggs, and added twice the eggs. I should have known from the copious number of egg shells strewn about the counter, but counting is hard and involves math and paying attention. Further more, I was still traumatized from the caramel ordeal, so it wasn't my fault. I poured the batter over the apple caramel mess, and put it in the oven.
In about half and hour, a strange burnt sugar, apple smell began wafting through the house. I ran down the stairs to find a smoke filled kitchen, and a sizzling sound coming from the oven. As it turns out, the whole stupid "cake from hell" had boiled over the sides of the baking pan onto the oven floor. Could it get any worse?
YES! Just take a look at the pictures. My husband bravely ate a few pieces, after I tried to conceal the awful looking mess with store bought caramel and ice cream. Princess also made sure she got her share too. I think I'll stick to running for a while!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Hope you're all strong, healthy, and running happy and injury free! I know it has been a while, but finally life has begun to settle down just a bit and I have time to update my blog!
My fifth Badwater 135 was a total success and PR, thanks to my crew members who all went above and beyond to get me to the finish line. I wasn't sure if I was ready to run another 100 miler in less than two months, but when I asked myself one of my favorite questions," if I had a year to live, would I do this?" the answer was ,"go for it!" So about six weeks later I found myself at the starting line of the Lean Horse 100, in beautiful Hot Springs, South Dakota.
If you've never run Lean Horse, I highly recommend it. Jerry Dunn, the RD, and his volunteers, are fabulous! It is a very well organized, scenic race. It is a good first time 100 miler, and can also be used for a PR. Along with the good spirits and encouragement of lots of the other runners, the volunteers, the fantastic aid stations,(there were Rice Crispy Treats!! Yum!) the RD, and of course my ever loving, patient, and supportive husband, I managed a PR, despite having horrible blisters the last 16 miles. I'll be back to run this one for sure!
The week before Lean Horse, we found ourselves volunteering for the Pikes Peak Marathon, perched on a narrow strip of single track trail, about a mile from the summit, on what is known as the Cirque Aid Station. The Cirque Aid Station is my favorite, and I think it is safe to say that it is a favorite aid stations amongst the runners. The efforts that the RD and volunteers go to in order to create this aid station are extraordinary. On Wednesday, a bunch of volunteers drove to the summit of Pikes peak to unload all the supplies for this aid station, and also run a hose down the side of the mountain to fill the three huge trash cans for the water and gatorade for thousands of runners. Our efforts paid off: the runners were very grateful and in good spirits, and we kept the water supply going, although it sounded kind of funny after a while yelling out "HOSE ON THE TRAIL!!" to warn the runners not to trip on the hose laid across the narrow trail that filled the water barrels.A big congratulations to Matt Carpenter for yet another win!!! Matt is always an inspiration!
Seven days after winning Lean Horse, I ran the American Discovery Trail Marathon in Colorado Springs. The ADT Marathon is one of my favorite marathons in the country. Not only is it right in my back yard, but it is well organized, and you get a nice shirt, and finisher's medal. I didn't PR as I had hoped, and my knees were killing me after ten miles, but I still managed to get Boston qualifier time.
Now it is time to work on my book, and take a few weeks off! Congratulations to all the finishers of the Pikes Peak marathon, the Lean Horse 100, and the ADT Marathon! Next up is the Mountain Cha Cha in Pagosa Springs, CO, and the brand new Crested Butte Fall Colors Half Marathon, on September 25th and 26th!